In the life of a swinger couple, sooner or later it happens to meet people with whom, despite all good intentions, the spark does not strike. Especially in the first experiences, in fact, it can be difficult to understand immediately if the other couple is the right one to play and this can cause considerable embarrassment if you find yourself having to back down. However, it is important to understand that no one is attracted to everyone and that even in the exchange of couples, likes, dislikes or simply sexual compatibility can be complex to decipher and changeable, for this reason it is necessary to be able to understand when there really is no harmony and to behave accordingly, with maturity and decision, whether one is on the side of someone who decides to take a step back or on the side of who is “rejected”: what to do then if the Feeling does not take off and how to transform the embarrassment into serenity?
Is it possible to back out in the couple swap?
Life as a swinger is made up of many different situations, which make this choice even more intriguing and eventful: whether you are at a private swinger party or in a private club, in fact, various eventualities can happen which it is important to know how to handle correctly. The more experienced and mature swingers now know how to extricate themselves from the thousand facets of this world, but for those who are making their first experiences it can be difficult and embarrassing to face some situations, such as having to refuse another couple.
In reality this is not such a rare occurrence, on the contrary it is quite frequent that when you do not yet know your limits and preferences well you can find yourself changing your mind during games in progress for the most disparate reasons. Those who have been in the swinger world for a long time are usually able to immediately understand if something is wrong and stop if necessary, on the other hand there is nothing wrong with having your own tastes and preferences even more if in the bedroom: withdrawing is therefore not only possible but also necessary if you don’t feel at ease and whoever is on the other side must maturely accept that the desired understanding has not taken place .
Obviously, however, even in rejection it is advisable to have the right ways and behave with respect for others , perhaps even with a pinch of irony.
Be respectful and honest
If during an appointment the right feeling is not triggered , one of the first rules ever is to be respectful and honest both with yourself and with the other participants. Rejecting someone is a right but one must also be able not to hurt or blame the other person, emphasizing rather that the rejection is only due to a personal choice and one’s limitations at the moment. In this way, stakes are set that cannot be climbed over but which at the same time do not make anyone uncomfortable.
This clearly shouldn’t be confused with the idea of lying , indeed in the swinger world one of the most important values is honesty on which the sense of trust built within the community is based. For example, instead of trying to escape by saying you’re not ready right now but leaving open a future possibility that we know in our hearts doesn’t exist, it’s better to say openly in a polite way that that exchange is not possible.
Say no by finding alternatives
Sexual understanding should not be confused with the pleasure of being together without double ends, otherwise we should feel like taking all our friends to bed; on the contrary, it may happen that a couple known with the aim of exchanging turns out to be in reality an excellent company even if they do not inspire us with erotic fantasies . In this situation it is possible to refuse the intimate relationship by proposing something alternative to continue the evening, for example going for a drink at the bar and chatting. It is not said that the others will accept the invitation, but this will make it clear that there is no dislike and that even though the spark has not been triggered, there is still a feeling of esteem and approval.
Although it may seem embarrassing to have met in an attempt to swap couples , there are cases of great friendships born in this way: perhaps the first meeting will not be told to others but you can be sure that remembering it can even be fun!